Girls who like girls.

I was always curious as to how this worked, do girls look at other girls like I do, or do they look at em’ differently. I mean, if a sexy lady with a nice @$$ walks past, do they look at her like I would look at er’, or is it somethin’ else to this. I just had to know, and when the opportunity came up to give a lesbian lady the 3^rd degree, I didn’t pull any punches. Now keep in mind, ladies tend to speak in code, it’s like they can’t just say what they really want to say unless they’re tipsy, so I had that part taken care of.

So I start to ask her a list of question off the top, makin’ sure to sit next to er’ in a nice and comfy barstool setting, a few drink in er’, and some serious game. I know she didn’t like guys the same way she would moisten up to a fine lady, but I know every woman has a mode, so I had to bring er’ there to get answers. Most of it was layers of bulls**t about emotional attachment and metal sex, blah blah blah, but as she got more liquor in her veins, the truth game out hard.

I couldn’t believe half the things she was telling me, I mean, I know the types of things I would love to do to a sexy dime piece, but I wasn’t nearly on the level she was wit’ it. I had to take mental notes because I was convinced that the s**t she was on would definitely turn a b**ch out. I was always under this impression that dudes where nastier then girls where when it came to “gettin’ it in”, but holy f**k was I wrong. I mean, she really started feelin’ er’self… like literally.

Really, I gotta admit that she kinda drew me in with the detail she was droppin’, and the drinks seem to make her forget I wasn’t her type, if you know what I mean. I was too close to throwing morality out tha’ window, but ma’ boy snapped me back into reality and reminded me that her girl was just in the next room. I didn’t want to break up a perfectly good relationship just cuz I got caught up, but I can’t say I don’t regret it either; at the same time, I kinda feel like I cheated ma’self out. I don’t know.

What I do know, is that girls that like other girls can get down and dirty on a level I never thought possible. I even found out that they have their own sexy s**t, like porn collections of girls makin’ it clap. I was like, WTF? You always find something good when you peel back that fake layer girls like to floss in da’ public eye; but when you pull dat’ curtain back, you better be ready for what comes at you. Dem types of girls go hard as s**t, and it’s no wonder I like em’ so damn much.

Too bad it can’t ever be more then just a fling, and I’m so serious right now.

-Shaum

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I'm in love with a stripper.

No not really, but I must say that these kinds of girls seem to gravitate toward me. I don’t get it; all I ever wanted was a nice classy girl who is as crazy about me as I am about her. All I seem to run into are heartless, shameless women who only want one thing. It’s so common now that I don’t even bother trying to hook up with a classy girl anymore; it always turns out the same way. I mean, I have good conversational skills, I compliment in the best ways, and I’m a good listener. Where the hell did I go wrong?

I really miss middle school and high school, those where some of my most bittersweet years. I admit, school did suck, a lot, but the girls where pretty awesome at that time. I always ended up hooking up with a girl from a different school then me, but it was still a great time for me. Unfortunately I never had the best luck, so something horrible would always happen before I could enjoy the rewards of a good relationship, but the fact that the girls where so much more aggressive back then was great. I mean, I really hate feeling as if I’m making some random girl miserable by trying to get to know her when she just wants to be left alone, but I mean, it’s not like she’d come to me yourself right?

I guess I’m just not selfish enough to be with a classy woman, and maybe I want certain ingredients to mix that just won’t in real life. Strippers are aggressive, they move in ways that make me snake hiss, and they just know what to say, when to say it and how to say it. They tend to be the most gorgeous creatures alive, but their hearts are practically made of stone. You can forget about getting them to open up their hearts to you; that shit just won’t happen.

I can’t really say I’ve been hurt by a stripper girl, but I do tend to get attached and have to remind myself that there is nothing there but a good time for as long as it lasts. I want more then that, and these sexy divas from exotic dancers to runway models are just too coarse. Does this mean that all the girls who have the smallest ounce of interest in me are only the ones who are beyond loving? Do I only attract the heartless harpies of the earth or what?

I just want to feel free to be crazy about a girl and know it’s not a feeling that is misplaced. Any girl who might actually be wife material doesn’t seem to want to have the least amount to do with me. So what do I do? I can’t make someone love me. I guess as a Jersey boy, I take some getting used to, but I don’t want to be an acquired taste. This is bullshit, and my heart is just lying in my chest being unused. It would be cool to have a nice girl who is just crazy about me, and I can be crazy about her and have it grow to something amazing.

Until then, I’m just some guy who certain types of girls want to f**k and we go our separate ways, be someone’s cougar bait, or just be some poor girls rebound. “I want to be the guy”, is that too much to ask for? Until then it’s strippers, models and fast @$$ girls for me, until I somehow get better pheromones workin’ in my favor; such a sad existence for a guy who just wants to love someone, but simply isn't allowed to.

So I guess I’ll just have to settle for something more exotic, and not in a good way either.

-Shaum