Isn't she lovely?

I believe there are some things that cannot be seen with the lens of a video camera or the snapshot of a high-quality photo. I often think of moments in my past I wish I could watch from the perspective of a third person, relive that instant in time to remember why and how it shaped my future. Do I channel my life energy through the eyes of others, or is it that I view my milestones in self evolution in the way I delight the women in my life? I simply cannot say for certain, but I do know that some of the richest moments I can recollect involve such special individuals.

I remember my first insatiable kiss with the girl up the street from where I lived; this was the first time I felt the desire to connect with a woman in ways I didn’t quite understand at the time. I felt at that moment, if she asked me for anything in the world I would have gladly given it to her. This was my first and only moment of absolute surrender I can remember. This was also the first time I could read the thought of a young lady by her physical gestures and not having to say a word. I looked into her eyes that suddenly seemed deeper and more vivid then the sky at night. I have never had this happen to me again, it was the first and only time in my life.

Then there was my first seduction of a young woman; a time that I knew what to do and when to do it because everything just seemed so right. This was a succession of events that could never be planned by anyone unless destiny decreed it by supernatural means. The way her waist fit perfectly in my grasp, the arch of her back, the angle our eyes happened to meet; as if were two pieces of a puzzle where being put together. This was a moment when things I wanted to say came to me effortlessly, and a kiss from me to her was preordained to occur on equal terms, 50/50; speaking of the very same girl whom wouldn’t give me the time of day just a few days ago.

It’s moments like the first time I felt a girl melt in my arms when I held her close to me. The very same moment I decided I wanted to protect her from any and everything that would cause her harm; the moment I truly felt like a man. There was even the time I felt soft at heart when the girl who adored me came running and jumped into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist; a moment I felt needed, loved and appreciated. I can remember more vividly the time I saw her eyes light up when I stepped into the room when we had been apart form a short time. These are things I think about every-so-often, days I wish I could relive in some way.

Most of all I miss the first time I heard the soft panting and eager moaning of one young girl when her soft behind touched my groin, and the aroused and thoughtless grinding motion she engaged in for reason I can’t explain; the thought of her disregarding her skirt gradually lifting up and the blatant fact that there was an audience watching her every action. I can remember with clarity the things she said to me that I had only thought existed in theater; the surreal motions her body moved that felt as if she wanted to connect with me in ways that where not humanly possible. I had never felt so needed or desired in such a way. This is truly an instance in time that stands alone.

I will also never forget the first time my girlfriend reached an orgasm of likes I had never seen before. All I wanted to do was let her know I was there for her, a secure handle for her to grasp to as her body took her on a ride I still do not fully understand. The look she gave, as her high began coming down, the smile of eternal satisfaction, the look she had as if a great thirst had been quenched are all instances of a meta-reality I truly believe can never be captured or contained. It saddens me to know that these are just moments; moments I can only remember and never get back. Could it be, I can never get them back because they never truly belonged to me? I can’t say for certain.

For now, all I can do is wonder. Even though the women in my life where beautiful in many ways, these moments I shared with them were simply lovely; in those still moments in time that I can remember their faces were even lovelier.

-Shaum

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