The final Misadventure of a streetPoet.

This will be the last entry I share concerning my misadventures in life concerning the fairer sex. My desire and appreciation for the amazing elements that make a woman will never fade, but I believe my interest is shifting to investing time in things more lasting, more meaningful and of more valuable quality. I mean that for a lot of things including relationships, career, goals, projects and so forth. Now is the time to treat the one thing I appreciate most in the world with the care and attention it deserves.

As I grow older, I look into a future of myself not having changed and still chasing instant gratification with no real foundation. I would like for once to not worry if the floor will collapse under my feet, or if suddenly the rug will be pulled out from beneath me. I need something that belongs to me and me only. Something no one can take no matter what. I need security and piece of mind. I need structure and a place to call my own. I realize now I don’t have any of those things and the time I’ve spent chasing castles made of sand, I wasted precious time I could have used building my own castle out of solid stones.

Lately I’ve mourned over the life that I let pass me by, trying to make up for a life that I never had. I know it was a necessary step to live the life for a time so that I could grow as a person, but I’ve stayed there too long. In that lingering moment I had forgotten the mission. I had become stagnant and content. I was in a state of madness to believe that I would look back as an old man and be proud of all of the things I never accomplished. Play time is over, it’s time to grow up.

Now I wish to take you on some adventures of Shaum the Poet, my days of misadventures are over.

-Shaum

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P.S. If you enjoy my writing, keep an ear out for my new book. I haven't come up with a title just yet, but I'll announce it when I do. :)

Isn't she lovely?

I believe there are some things that cannot be seen with the lens of a video camera or the snapshot of a high-quality photo. I often think of moments in my past I wish I could watch from the perspective of a third person, relive that instant in time to remember why and how it shaped my future. Do I channel my life energy through the eyes of others, or is it that I view my milestones in self evolution in the way I delight the women in my life? I simply cannot say for certain, but I do know that some of the richest moments I can recollect involve such special individuals.

I remember my first insatiable kiss with the girl up the street from where I lived; this was the first time I felt the desire to connect with a woman in ways I didn’t quite understand at the time. I felt at that moment, if she asked me for anything in the world I would have gladly given it to her. This was my first and only moment of absolute surrender I can remember. This was also the first time I could read the thought of a young lady by her physical gestures and not having to say a word. I looked into her eyes that suddenly seemed deeper and more vivid then the sky at night. I have never had this happen to me again, it was the first and only time in my life.

Then there was my first seduction of a young woman; a time that I knew what to do and when to do it because everything just seemed so right. This was a succession of events that could never be planned by anyone unless destiny decreed it by supernatural means. The way her waist fit perfectly in my grasp, the arch of her back, the angle our eyes happened to meet; as if were two pieces of a puzzle where being put together. This was a moment when things I wanted to say came to me effortlessly, and a kiss from me to her was preordained to occur on equal terms, 50/50; speaking of the very same girl whom wouldn’t give me the time of day just a few days ago.

It’s moments like the first time I felt a girl melt in my arms when I held her close to me. The very same moment I decided I wanted to protect her from any and everything that would cause her harm; the moment I truly felt like a man. There was even the time I felt soft at heart when the girl who adored me came running and jumped into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist; a moment I felt needed, loved and appreciated. I can remember more vividly the time I saw her eyes light up when I stepped into the room when we had been apart form a short time. These are things I think about every-so-often, days I wish I could relive in some way.

Most of all I miss the first time I heard the soft panting and eager moaning of one young girl when her soft behind touched my groin, and the aroused and thoughtless grinding motion she engaged in for reason I can’t explain; the thought of her disregarding her skirt gradually lifting up and the blatant fact that there was an audience watching her every action. I can remember with clarity the things she said to me that I had only thought existed in theater; the surreal motions her body moved that felt as if she wanted to connect with me in ways that where not humanly possible. I had never felt so needed or desired in such a way. This is truly an instance in time that stands alone.

I will also never forget the first time my girlfriend reached an orgasm of likes I had never seen before. All I wanted to do was let her know I was there for her, a secure handle for her to grasp to as her body took her on a ride I still do not fully understand. The look she gave, as her high began coming down, the smile of eternal satisfaction, the look she had as if a great thirst had been quenched are all instances of a meta-reality I truly believe can never be captured or contained. It saddens me to know that these are just moments; moments I can only remember and never get back. Could it be, I can never get them back because they never truly belonged to me? I can’t say for certain.

For now, all I can do is wonder. Even though the women in my life where beautiful in many ways, these moments I shared with them were simply lovely; in those still moments in time that I can remember their faces were even lovelier.

-Shaum

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So much more…

I can’t stress it enough! Ok, I get it! I know you’re more the just a pretty face. You’re smart, witty, funny, adorable and full of life. I get it! But what I don’t get is why you never show anyone else that you’re all these things? Why does it always have to be a reassurance pick-up line when some guy thinks you going down the “I’m more then my looks path”.

Ok, let me be straight up with you, I didn’t know you where anything else buy a pretty girl when I stepped to you, and to be honest I thought you where also misguided, shallow and mean. Why you ask? Because before I even said anything to you, you looked at me like I wasn’t worth a damn.

Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t judge you right away because you judged me first, I let my conversation with you decide the rest. After that I assumed you had no sense of awareness, I cam e to this conclusion because you couldn’t sense my positive aura or my sincerity. To add to this, you found it very necessary to point out all of my flaws and personal quirks. So now I assumed you where not only rude, but that you where also uptight and a bad judge of character.

Luckily for you I can look into the heart of people, see past their outward façade and view what’s in their heart. So when I stared into your eyes to see if you meant any of the things you where saying, my conclusion was… no, you didn’t mean any of it. So why? Why did you say cruel things you didn’t mean or be someone who you clearly aren’t? Was it a test? Ok, I’ll assume it was just a test and try to pass it with flying colors. What then? I get it now, you actually have a sense of humor, you like to laugh and talk about things important to you. Was it really that hard?

Look, I’m not saying you should show everyone who you really are. If it’s one of those pleasures that you have to earn, or be worthy to experience, I get it. Just know that first impressions are really all that people have to work with these days; getting to know someone isn’t as easy as most would like it to be. So even if you might be smart, witty, funny, adorable and full of life; don’t be surprised if the average person can’t see it. I’m not saying wear your heart on your sleeve, but your personal character should be just as visible as your lovely smile.

I’m just sayin’.

-streetPoet007

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The look-out lady.

Yeah, I see you watchin’ me; I pay attention to things like that. Is this entry of mine an outlet to brag about that fact? No. I’ve never been the bragging type; I like to savor things in silence. I’m simply letting you know that I see you too. So why haven’t I done anything about it yet? Well, it’s simple and complicated at the same time. I know it sounds like an excuse to keep you in suspense, but allow me to explain.

There are several things I’ve noticed about myself when it comes to women, but I’ll just keep it simple and tell you one of them. I like to spoil you, indulge in you and utterly enjoy your company. Sometimes I can get carried away with it. There was a time I had different goals and agendas, a time when a lady in my life was a great idea. Things are different now, and I have much bigger issues I need to take care of before I even think about seducing you.

Now don’t get it twisted, I’m pretty sure you would settle for part of me and that’s not to say I think you would stoop so low, or that piece of me is better then you’ll have with any other guy. What I believe concerning you is that you deserve better then that. I want to give you better then that and I’m afraid if I taste just a little of what that could be like I’ll lose sigh of what I’m doing.

Part of me hopes that you’ll be patient and wait for me to reach the goals I’ve set for myself; that you can see the person I want you to see, appreciate, praise and love. The rest of me knows better then that; that part of me knows that nothing lasts as long as you’d like it to, and that asking you to wait on me wouldn’t be fair, or realistic. I know you have goals too; your race shouldn’t stop just because it’s convenient for me, should it?

Until that day I’ll be watching you in the corner of my eye, seeing what it is you do next, just as you will probably be watching me. The moment you take your eyes off of me, I’ll notice. I’ll likely be saddened by it too, but that is the rolling stone we call progression, the act of moving forward. Why would I ever expect you to stand still? If you ever lose sight of me that’s fine; maybe one day you’ll see me on the T.V. screen?

-streetPoet007

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I piss excellence.

Self praise isn’t something I’m too unfamiliar with; I mean, for the most part I praise myself for almost everything I do well and that I’m sorta proud of. It’s not easy doing great things in a day, and it’s not easy being good at what you do when you’re doing it; or is it?

You see, I’ve come to learn that some of the things I’m so proud of aren’t really as great as I would like to think. I realize achievements are worthy of praise, but what kind of achievements should a person be reward for accomplishing; short-term goals, long-term goals, writing a book, what exactly? I have to wonder at times if my narcissism is another obstacle in my path of achieving great things.

I had to go back in the mind when I was younger and remember all of the negative things people said about me and how they would constantly compare someone they considered better then myself or suggesting I should be more like that person. Even as a child I knew better then to let those suggestions bother me all that much, however it was the illusion that made me the most upset. I knew what excellence was, and that person was not a good example of it at all.

Excellence is the highest degree of good, and if you’re doing slightly better then the people you know, that’s good. However, you should always keep in mind that comparing yourself to others who aren’t on your level will always make you look good. To ensure that you are as magnificent a person as you believe yourself to be, then you should surround yourself with people who feel the same way you do. Even better, surround yourself with individuals who have proven their excellence and put it to test against others of the same caliber.

I believe it very true that you can announce yourself as the best, a great person, and an excellent human being only when you are tested. I say brag about how smart you are when you win top of the class at a university know for its intelligent students. I say brag about how gorgeous you are after winning a Miss America contest. I say you talk about how hood you are or tough you are after winning a championship boxing match. I say claim the position as King of your city only after you have proven no other King is worthy of it.

I have excellence to spare, and it has been tested ever since the age of three. I’ve got throwbacks; I’m a renaissance man so to speak, what about you?

-streetPoet007

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Just a Taste.

Yeah, you know what I mean. It’s that sticky situation you get yourself into when you think you’re strong enough to take a little and leave the rest alone. We’ve all been there once or twice, maybe even three times. I’ve been in this situation too many times to count, and I’m not proud of it, but I can’t say I regret it either.

Why do I get tangled into this crazily weaved web time and time again? I’ll tell you why; it’s because I remember all-too-well the times I walked away from a good thing and slapped myself for it later. I guess I figured, “why not slap yourself for consequences now rather then for the not knowing later?” It’s a flawed philosophy, I know, but I can’t really say I missed out on much anymore.

This evil temptation seems to be a two-way door; you can even tempt others, rather then being the tempted. Sly little invitations like “just one time” or “just a little bit” can seem so innocent when you know the deed is wrong already, but somehow the implication of a brief encounter or small morsel of tribute can seduce even the most righteous individual; and in that “little bit” or that “just once” can span an extended encounter of grief and guilt sure to follow.

Oh, but it is the tempter who already understood this from the beginning. They savor the entire “dessert” when requesting only the cherry on top. In principle, they become “the beggar who only wanted a nickel who in the end received a fortune”. The person who let their guard down pretty much knew what was going to happen; they secretly just hoped they could escape the consequences that came afterward. However, there are those strange instances where there is no guilt, and both the tempter and the tempted are both left grinning.

It is these rare occasion that I dwell in, not because they are few, but because they are invigorating. It’s the idea of two individuals doing a very wrong and immoral thing, enjoying it, getting away with it and not feeling guilty about it. My oh my, things can really get messy when a taste-test becomes a binge, and it’s even better when it tastes so good you suck your fingers and lick the plate.

But, when it makes your mouth water… to the point you want to share what you taste with the other person, as if they couldn’t possibly understand any other way, that’s the point of no return. Expect life to throw a lot of sour lemons at you for a very long time. I guess you make lemonade after that, right? Good luck! [Laughing]  -streetPoet007

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Reading Glasses

I remember when I was an angry and confused little boy; women didn’t make sense to me. They would say one thing and do something else, claim they wanted “this” and later end up with “that”. Talk bad about guys like dogs, and then go and date a dog; all kinda strange woman stuff I just didn’t get. I was irritated because I wanted to be a close part of their world, but I just couldn’t speak their language.

One day, while I was feeling especially sorry for myself, I ran across a revelation like no other I had ever experienced. I realized I had cracked the code to lady-lingo. I had to sit still for a while to make sure I wasn’t fooling myself, or that I hadn’t lost my mind. The obvious thing to do was test my theory, see if I really knew what kind of power I had. I went out for my first field test, and I failed pretty badly.

I wasn’t sad I had failed, I was actually quite happy. You see, I had failed for reasons much different then I had in the past. The key I managed to take with me on that journey was the unlocked door of progression. My ability to speak the language had improved. Failure after failure I began to quickly understand why I was so confused when it came to the fairer sex. The problem wasn’t that “girls are weird”, the problem was that I wasn’t “listening”.

The problem areas I noticed in my approach began with “me”. It was me who had to change; hoping women would change or even expecting it was not only impossibly impractical but ridiculous. I got so very good at listening, that I was sometimes able to finish a ladies thought before she spoke them. When little things like this impressed them, I started to ponder over other little extra tidbits I could add to my new-found talent, and that’s when I began to embellish everything I did.

You can see with you ears, feel with your mind, touch with your voice and listen with your heart. This makes perfect sense to a rare few, but it is a true spiritual science that is instinctive in most all women. I couldn’t truly understand this philosophy until I became a man of sincerity, which I found through the power of a wineglass. I drank and drank until there where no lies in me; only then could I tell a past love how I really felt for her, how I saw the world, how I thought the world saw me.

I remembered that day well; every sound, every smell and visual observation. Looking through that wineglass, could see the world for what it really was. The secret was not that the world was hidden away from me; I just wasn’t reading the signs that where right in front of my face. Those once strange implications that these lovely ladies gave off where now neon billboards to me; now when she tells me “no” and the stamp on her forehead says “oh god yes”, I know which order to obey.

The trick is to keep the “eyes” but put down the glass, but that’s just the beginning. Let’s toast to enlightenment!

-streetPoet007
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